1. I wanted to go to bed early so I could hit the polls early tomorrow. The former is not happening while the latter will still have to. I’ll take Clinton or Sanders but Trump and Cruz scare the crap outta me. *Shudders*
2. Been having weird sensations in my left quad near the knee when I squat with 100 lbs or more. Today the doctor told me to stop squatting with so much weight. It kinda bummed me out. Guess I won’t be becoming a bro anytime soon. Or maybe I’ll just be one of those bros who focuses on their pecs & biceps while walking around on skinny little toothpick legs.
3. I tried doing GACKT’s “for ladies” stretch and my right ankle was like “trick whatchu tryna do you know how much metal you still got in here?!” After which I promptly ceased & desisted.
4. Why is that with regular sleep, when you wake up you feel like time has elapsed, but with anesthesia-induced sleep, you wake up seemingly the next minute after you fell asleep? At least that’s what it was like for me with spinal anesthesia.
5. Wait, isn’t the phrase “cease and desist” kinda redundant?
6. Recently I learned that Billy Blanks fans in Japan called him Taichou (commander). This amused me.
7. I recently tried Avon’s Imari Seduction lotion for the first time. The smell was so familiar but I couldn’t place it. At first I thought “Buddhist temple in Japan” but then it hit me: it smells remarkably similar to Sephiroth’s scented candle.
8. Why yes, I have a Sephiroth scented candle. And I spray the Sephiroth cologne on my Sephiroth folding fan so that I may fan myself with Silver Winds. I think Square-Enix should’ve also released a Sephiroth mascara. I wouldn’t have bought it because I don’t use mascara, but it would have been funny.
9. Remember the part in Captain America: The Winter Soldier when Cap says “This isn’t freedom, this is fear”? Yeah. That’s why I hashtagnevertrump.